Saturday morning rant ( it's a long one)

Sitting here drinking my second cup of coffee and missing my mac book, this computer is not only slow but has a horrible keyboard. In hindsight it was my fault for not bringing it, but I just couldn't handle going through airport security with a baby, a stroller, a car set and electronics. I just dawned on me last night that I am no longer TSA precheck, which means I know have to stand in long lines, take off my shoes and have my breast milk strip checked ( really?) why would I feed my baby that milk after you stuck some random chemical strip in it?!! anyway I guess I will just deal. Ricky is going through a growth spurt, which means he wakes up about four times throughout the night. I don't mind it because he is still breastfeeding and it is too easy to just pull him up next to me BUT last night he would not go back to sleep, which resulted in me rocking him until he dozed off. It was grueling to get up with him this morning. Thank God, my mom took him off my hands for a little while so I could get some coffee in me. After he finally fell asleep last night, I could not go back to sleep. Instead my thoughts drifted to an argument Paul and I had several days ago,let me begin by saying I saw this coming but it still stung a little. It was about money, January 1st will be the first time I will not be receiving a paycheck, I have been working since I was 17. Realizing that we are a one income family now, is hard not because I am not willing to make changes to my spending but because I know that at any moment I can be denied something I want. The line he delivered went something like " it's my money, so I  can spend it how I want". Since then he has apologized but it has not stopped me from thinking about getting a job, even thought I already have one. The other night I went to bed at 8 and he asked me to stay up later he said he was staying up and had to be at work at 6:30 so I said " I have to be at work in two hours" ( yeah, I'm a smart ass) but it's true! -

                    Signed, tired stay at home mom